A
friend and owner of a local independent bookstore discovered a copy of a slim
1909 book, Ambrose Bierce’s Write it
Right – A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults. She decided it might be the
sort of thing that would interest me. She was right.
Written
over a century ago by one of the era’s brilliant literary and social critics, Write it Right beautifully exemplifies
that over time, language changes, and that people -- no matter how bright,
daring, and wonderful they might be -- don’t like change.
The
book is set up like a dictionary, each entry either focusing on one word or on
words that Mr. Bierce believed users were confusing. Bierce’s purpose was to
“teach precision in writing.” Below you’ll find a few selected entries
highlighting not only Bierce’s keen wit and education, but his delightfully high
opinion of himself.
Banquet. A good enough word in its place, but its place is the dictionary. Say,
dinner.
Casket for coffin. A needless euphemism affected by undertakers.
Dirt for Earth, Soil, or Gravel. A most disagreeable Americanism,
discredited by general (and Presidential) use. “Make the dirt fly.” Dirt means
filth.
Firstly. If this word could mean
anything it would mean firstlike, whatever that might mean. The ordinal numbers
should have no adverbial form: “firstly,” “secondly,” and the rest are words
without meaning.
Gent for Gentleman. Vulgar exceedingly.
Gubernatorial. Eschew it; it is not English, is needless and
bombastic. Leave it to those who call a political office a “chair.”
“Gubernatorial chair” is good enough for them. So is hanging.
Meet for
Meeting. This belongs to the
language of sport, which persons of sense do not write—nor read.
Pants for
Trousers. Abbreviated from
pantaloons, which are no longer worn. Vulgar exceedingly.
Poetess. A foolish word, like “authoress.”
Tasty for
Tasteful. Vulgar.
Ways for
Way. “A squirrel ran a little
ways along the road.” “The ship looked a long ways off.” This surprising word
calls loudly for depluralization.
Readers, I hope you have
something to say about all this. If so, please say it in the comments section.
My thanks go out to this week’s
sources: The Ambrose Bierce Project, & Write it Right – A Little Blacklist of Literary Faults, The Neale
Publishing Company, 1909.
Wonderful! How lucky you were to find this, Charlie. Very dry and funny. What would Bierce say about today's use of anyways for anyway? That just makes my head ache. :) Love your blog. Hugs, P.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastic find! My dad used to quote Ambrose Bierce when he wanted to intimidate his students (and children.) I know Bierce was especially unfond of Oscar Wilde, and gave him a terrible review in the Alta Californian newspaper. In my book Ghostwriters in the Sky, I invent a mythical letter from Oscar Wilde, asking Calamity Jane to "put a bullet between the eyes of Mr. Ambrose Bierce." And I invented a valuable book, rather like the one now in your possession. What a treasure!
ReplyDeleteHey Paul & Anne - Bierce was decidedly a character. I suppose I now need to go find his review(s) of Wilde (another character). And like Dave Congalton's Authors Anonymous, Ghostwriters in the Sky is a story everyone can enjoy (though writers might break out in guffaws more regularly than non-writers).
ReplyDeleteWhat a treasure! What would he think of our adulterated language now? I imagine the word vulgar would run rampant through his diatribe! Do we have Carroll to thank? She's great at finding perfect books for the perfect people.
ReplyDeleteHowdy Christine - we do have Carroll to thank, & I imagine Mr. Bierce would have to find some synonyms for vulgar or it owuld be one of the only words he'd speak.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing these excerpts, Charlie. Delightful! I especially like Bierce's commentary at the end of the "gubernatorial" entry.
ReplyDeleteHey Vickie - yes, it seems Mr. Bierce & Dorothy Parker had some similarities.
ReplyDeleteHaha, love it! Witty and true.
ReplyDeleteSarah Allen
(From Sarah, With Joy)